My Brain Has Departed

Oh, you'll like this. Yes, you'll like this a lot.

My schedule of watching films in the evenings had been going well. I had been focusing on films just fine. On Monday night, I watched London To Brighton, which was enjoyable if a bit unremarkable. Remarkable for achieving a certain amount with its low-budget perhaps, and some good performances, but that's about it.

Anyway, that's besides the point. Tonight (Tuesday), I slapped Martin Scorsese's The Departed into the DVD player and sat back to view. Thirty minutes in, I was utterly confused. Bamboozled. What the hell was going on? It seemed to be jumping around all over the place. Couldn't figure out whether I was supposed to be seeing jumps back and forth in time, a Tarantino-esque jigsaw plot or some new avant garde approach to narrative altogether.

Then it slowly - oh, so slowly - dawned on me that I was mistakenly believing Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon's characters to be the same character. I was literally watching their different scenes, believing them to be the same person. My brain could not tell them apart. Even though one had a moustache. So I stopped the DVD, vowing to return when I had regained the ability to discern one face from another.

Now, I could try and couch this as a witty comment on how identikit and interchangeable many of today's movie stars are (and for the record, neither Damon nor DiCaprio do much to blow my skirts up). I could also point out that I was a bit tired, with my mind partly on other things.

But let's face it, eh? What a twat.

Good day to you.

5 comments:

Sarah of the Dead said...

I've heard other people make the same complaint. My colleague refers to them as "the farm boys" because they're indistinguishable - and because they look like farm boys.

Oli said...

In having the inability to tell apart Leonardo and Matt, you have proved yourself to be the straightest man on the face of the planet.

Jason Arnopp said...

Sarah - thanks, that's something of a relief!

Oli - I'm afraid I can't be the straightest man on the face of the planet, because I very much enjoy the title-track of the Olivia Newton John movie Xanadu.

Jon Peacey said...

I've not caught The Departed yet but I had the same problem with Infernal Affairs... compounded by an apparent lack of moustaches!

Phill Barron said...

I had the same problem, so did Mandy, my wife. If not being able to tell them apart makes one a straight man, I am seriously worried.