Showing posts with label Splendid sketch show. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Splendid sketch show. Show all posts

2009, 2010 & The Bare Bones Approach

Hello, you delightful shooting star. 2009, you say? I'd best jot down some thoughts on how it was for me, before it becomes all too tiny in the ol' rear-view mirror. I'll also throw in the most valuable writing lesson I learnt last year...

One of the best things about 2009 was sitting in a room, listening to Tony Jordan telling me I can write. As a writer you ideally have to be able to exist in a vacuum, tough as old hobnail boots, with no need for validation. But Christ Almighty, there's no harm in a bit if someone like Tony's offering. I was sitting in Red Planet Pictures' HQ, as part of a workshop laid on for Red Planet Prize finalists. My relationship with the company - and with a handful of finalists - remains ongoing, as ideas continue to fly. That's a good feeling.

Last year also gave me a nice sense of completion, when it came to my main new TV spec script. On January 1, 2009, I started work on a 30-minute one-off called Letters From Betsy. Truth be told, I poured a great deal of emotion into that script and almost certainly more of me than I'd devoted to a script before - probably with Tony Jordan's words ringing in my ears from the previous Screenwriters' Festival, about writing until your keyboard's covered in tears and snot. Nice.

Letters From Betsy underwent various drafts as the year went on, with untold changes made to direction, emphasis, character... you name it, although the core concept was always there. Indeed, Letters From Betsy's journey would only end when I'd clarified/reminded myself exactly what the core concept was, realising that the rest was mere surplus and should be dispensed with. That's one of the things I really learnt in 2009: bare bones are stronger. Dress 'em up with extra problems for your protagonist and all manner of extraneous tat, and the whole somehow manages to become less than the sum of its parts.

Anyway. Letters From Betsy eventually morphed into Ghost Writer, impressing a few noted industry folk as it did so. It was then chosen by TAPS as one of the four TV dramas which they produce each year. It was filmed in December on Leeds' Emmerdale sets (will write my account of the actual filming ASAP) - and hopefully this month I'll get to see the first edit and give input. But to all intents and purposes, I ended 2009 with a produced film which I started on the year's very first day.


So what else happened in 2009? I had my first commission from a TV production company, Eye Film And TV, to work on four 50-minute episodes of new web series Tempting Fates. That was a really valuable experience, which saw me co-storylining for the first time, thinking in terms of series arcs and generally working as part of a team. Fun fun fun.

At the start of the year, sketches for the show Splendid bubbled away in our collective cauldron. A ticklesome pilot was shot around Spring, with a tremendous June screening, which led to us honing that pilot some more, filming an additional batch of sketchery-pokery. Then another lesson was learnt: creating the pilot is the relatively easy part, compared to persuading industry-folk to watch it. Splendid currently awaits perusal on certain desks, but I remain confident that its irresistible foolishness can't help but charm whichever lucky soul gives it a spin first.

At the beginning of the year, I had some material broadcast on Radio 4's Recorded For Training Purposes, which led to me having material broadcast on that same station's Laurence & Gus: Hearts & Minds, a few months later. I then became a commissioned writer on the Recorded For Training Purposes team, which continues to be huge fun, as the show's next series is pieced together.

What else? I wrote a trial script for the fine BBC One series Waterloo Road, impressing Shed enough to gain a seat on their reserves bench. I associate produced Danny Stack's short film Origin. I became a script-reader for regional agency Screen East and a speaker at the Cheltenham Screenwriters' Festival, chairing two Doctor Who sessions with some excellent show luminaries. At the latter event, I started thinking for the first time about finding the right agent and had a few meetings which gave me some good contacts and possible representation in 2010.

Throughout 2009, I continued to shift the balance between screenwriting and the journalism with which I started out in writing. I'm in the really nice position of being able to pick journalistic jobs which I enjoy - and this has never been truer than when I interviewed former Doctor Who Tom Baker for Doctor Who Magazine. As this had been a longheld career ambition, it can only be described as one of the highlights of my life, let alone 2009. This Christmas, the afterglow became all the warmer, when Tom published the two-part interview on his website: you can read them both here.

So, yeah, 2009 was pretty busy and fruitful. There were of course a few projects that I worked up, only for them to creatively fizzle out, or hit dead ends. I wrote half a horror feature, then was forced to shift priorities to something else, and still need to climb back on that saddle. I also spent the entire year tinkering with my previously Hollywood-optioned horror feature Panik, only to realise over the last couple of months that it needs to be stripped right down, then built back up. Sometimes when a project is rooted in work carried out by Less Experienced You, those roots need pulling up altogether and replanting.

2010 will again be about hard work, only more so. I'm going to capitalise on all the opportunities which Ghost Writer's filming - and its planned BAFTA screening for industry types, this April - will bring, aiming to secure my first TV commission by year's end. Various projects will move forward and new ones will be willed into corporeal existence.

My key word for 2010 is 'focus'. It's all too tempting to diversify in terms of the genres you write, but this year I'm going to push for my priority: TV drama. As much as I enjoy sketchery-pokery and straight-up comedy, there'll be less of that from me this year. Focus, focus, focus. I'll still be writing feature scripts as well as TV scripts, but genre-wise, drama will provide my main sandpit - and as we all know, drama is broad enough church in itself.

Talking of focus, here's the most valuable writing lesson I learnt last year. It's the kind of thing we all think we know, but as Adrian Mead is fond of saying, sometimes knowing isn't doing. During TAPS' Continuing Drama weekend in October, we spent a lot of time with Emmerdale's chief writer Bill Lyons. A brutally honest, yet clearly lovely guy, he passed judgement on various scenes which the class had been tasked with writing in 60 minutes, then were acted by a couple of thespians. You could often feel that dialogue had been overwritten, the moment that actors became a tad stilted. The effort they were devoting to saying all those words, rendered them unable to actually act. As Bill said, "If you put too many words in an actor's mouth, you're actually stopping them from doing their job". That's a fine sentence to remember this year when you're writing dialogue - and especially when redrafting it.

2010, then: the year of focus, bare bones, letting actors do their jobs and - lest we forget - having a right old hoot. Bring. It. On.

Handy 2009 Links

Michelle Lipton on Ten Things She Learnt Last Year. If you didn't much care for The Thing That I Learned, this article will make up for it

Piers Beckley on setting controllable goals

Evernote - a handy application which syncs web, portable device and computer, allowing you to easily store ideas, research materials or indeed Bars You Would Like To Visit

Carbonite - the best back-up service I discovered last year. It simply hoovers your files up into the internet, ridding you of all worries. Even if your house burns down, your stuff is safe

My Twitter page
: I discovered this social networking site in 2009, and love it to bits. Give it a go, if you haven't already, and follow me if it pleases you

Splendid: The Official Trailer

It's now online. See it here and if you like it, tell other people about it. Splendid!

A Thoroughly Splendid Update

Cor blimey, love-a-duck, what a busy time it's been, and continues to be. Life is tremendous, right now. Here's what I've been doing with myself, on a professional level:

SPLENDID!
As you may recall, with your big old brain, there exists a pilot for the Splendid sketch-show, which we screened a few weeks back. Part of the reason we held that screening, was to see how we could strengthen that pilot. As Splendid (with both a big 'S' and a small one) director Dan Turner fully explains on his blog here, we then decided that our preposterous pilot needed a final sprinkle of quick, visual gags, to round it off nicely.

With that in mind, a full day of shooting happened last Friday. While I was unable to attend any of the original, glorious eight-day shoot for the pilot, I was able to go along for the ride on Friday, and help out wherever possible. It was a bruising schedule, to be sure, but so full of fun, stretched out between a greyhound stadium in Essex and Elstree Studios. God, we shot some ridiculous things that day - including a sketch which is arguably the silliest thing we've yet done. It really was a joy to be able to walk up to a monitor, inspect the frame and announce, "That is utterly fucking preposterous"... and for that to be a compliment. What a day. Another highlight was sitting in the back of a car with Splendid man Richard Glover, high on Opal Fruits (known by no-one as Starbursts) and shrieking at each other as the day wore on and hysteria took over.

RADIO!
I'm firing party streamers all over the shop, making it notably harder to tell you about developments in Radioville. I have a sketch on prime-time Radio 4 this very evening, goddammit. At 6.30pm, it's episode four of the excellent comedy series Laurence & Gus: Hearts & Minds. I spent a number of weeks, earlier in the year, bombarding the show with sketches because I love the duo's idiosyncratic style. I was determined to make something stick, and finally, World's Most Placid Man was performed and recorded. Cue cake and bunting.

RED PLANET!
After the excitement of being a finalist in the Red Planet Prize competition and the ensuing workshop with Tony Jordan, I'm now well into the hard graft of developing ideas for new TV malarkey. A fun process, to be sure.

TEMPTATION!
Screeching Satan on a cock-shaped pogostick! Tempting Fates, the online drama series which I've co-written and storylined, is now in its second week of filming. It's being made by the wonderful people at Eye Film & TV, and will be visible and audible via the WWW later in the year. I'm loving what I've seen of the cast, and can't wait to see the results. Essentially a black comedy, Tempting Fates is about three female Fates, who sashay down to Earth in order to murder various human targets. My kinda concept.

JOURNALISM!
The first part of my Doctor Who Magazine interview with Tom Baker seems to have gone down well, which is a relief. The second part will be in the next issue, out August 20. Whereas Part One focused primarily on Tom's memories of Doctor Who, Part Two is much more about him as a person. This issue will also feature my studio report from recording sessions for the new BBC Audio drama Hornets' Nest, which sees Tom reprising his role as the Fourth Doctor. Brilliant. Lately, I've also interviewed Ozzy Obsourne and Spooks' Richard Armitage. Tremendous distractions from open Final Draft files, all.

In case you were wondering, the above photograph of Ozzy and I happened seconds after I asked him to tell me the bat-eating story, one more time.

Splendid: The Screening

Hello! How lovely to see you. Have you lost a bit of weight?

We recently showed the pilot of our TV sketch show Splendid to a select audience. The evening represented a real milestone after the best part of a year's work.

It all happened in London's Soho, on July 10. Yep, Soho. Yep, July 10. Yep, the day of the fire. Here's how it all went. Cue potentially jarring switch into the present tense... hold on tight...

3pm: Reports start filtering in about a Dean Steet blaze. Twitter immediately proves its power by feeding me minute-by-minute, second-by-second accounts of what's going on - even if some of it's ill-informed or tasteless (given that we don't yet know whether anyone's been hurt). Splendid supremo Dan Turner seems admirably unconcerned, given that our Splendid screening at Wardour Street's Moving Picture Company is merely a stroll away from the apparent inferno. I spend the next hour forwarding him links to pictures like the one to the right, determined to frighten the Christ out of him. Eventually, he concedes, "Oh fuck, that's massive. But will hopefully clear in a couple of hours." It will indeed. But right now, stories circulate of businesses being evacuated, parts of Soho shut off, blackened people diving screaming into sewers to avoid the ravaging plumes of flame...

5pm: Dan, production manager Johnny 'Caution' Harrison and I meet in Soho, to prepare for the screening. By this point, the fire looks more like this:


As you can see, Soho's drinkers are terrified. They can barely hold their foaming ales steady, as the plucky fireman on a cherry-picker sprays high-powered water into a nearby building. Only one end of Dean Street's been shut off, and Soho is going about its business as usual. Between now and our 8pm door-opening time, however, we all receive understandably concerned messages from guests: 'Have you all been burnt to ash?', 'Has Soho been destroyed?' and so on.

5.30pm: Dan, Caution and I sensibly remember to eat, before dropping the Splendid pilot off at MPC, having a mini test screening, then heading along the road to buy a load of booze for our guests. MPC is a nice venue - you might remember from the picture above that Dan and I held the screening for our short film Look At Me here. For that screening, we went all-out and invited Everyone In The Known World, attracting about 140-odd guests and forcing us to screen the film twice in MPC's 74-capacity room. This time, though, the screening needed to fulfil two roles: to show our amazing cast 'n' crew the joys of what they'd achieved, and to introduce Splendid to a load of completely unconnected, oblivious folk, in order to get their feedback and spread ground-level buzz. Seventy-odd guests would cover all of this nicely, and we could have just the one cosy, unified screening.

6.45pm: Dan and I meet up with Richard Glover in a nearby pub. A wonderful man, Richard co-created the show with Dan. Weirdly, none of us are nervous, although we have the vague feeling that we should be. Regardless, a pint of organic lager will soon shave off any nascent nerves.

7.30pm: Another Splendid cast member turns up: the truly remarkable Stephen Evans. Having been unable to attend any of the filming, I'm meeting him for the first time. What an honour. He's a Doctor Who fan, too. Hooray. Then another of our fine actors, Eric Lampaert arrives with friends. Double hooray with fries. We spare many a thought, throughout the evening for our fellow writer Piers Beckley, who is foolishly in Spain running with bulls.

7.50pm: Realising that our screening opens its doors quite shortly, we hurriedly down drinking-tools and ramble back over to MPC. Nerves are beginning to kick in now, as I remember that a comedy screening differs from a drama screening in many key respects. Perhaps most importantly, an audience's appreciation of a comedy screening is far more instantly quantifiable - they laugh, or they don't. Sure, some people appreciate comedy without laughing out loud, but let's be honest: you want the laughs.

8pm: A fair number of guests are already here, including Splendid writer Sarah Morgan and our remaining cast, Hayley Jayne Standing and Andrea Donovan! There's also a fine representation of the blogosphere. Look at these three madmen for starters: William Gallagher, Stuart Perry (New Hair Exclusive: You Saw It Here First) and Phill Barron! Just out of shot: Michelle Lipton and the lovely Vicky!


The next hour is all about being delighted to see people (I am), trying not to spill wine over myself (I do) and trying not to act like a cock (I inevitably do, as this is my default setting).


Time for a few rapid-fire pics of this 8pm-9pm shindig. Here are three Splendid men: Glover, Lampaert and Evans...


And three splendid people of assorted genders: storyboard-art guru Rachel Garlick, writer/blogger Helen Smith and writer/blogger David Lemon.


Me, clearly discussing Very Serious Things with Eric, then Stephen (to my right in that picture is Mr Rich Swingle, our genius DOP, who helped make Splendid look so bloody lovely, along with remarkable production designer Jamie Bishop).




9pm: Screening time! People start filtering into the plushly-seated room, and nerves give way to (a) red wine; and (b) excitement. We've been working on Splendid for quite some a while, and now people are going to see it for the very first time! Dan and Richard Glover admirably stride onstage to give the audience a little back-story on the project, while making them laugh and warming them up a tad. In a nutshell, they tell people how we wanted to create something different. And silly.

9.10pm: The screening begins. Inevitably, you wait for that first laugh. And oh, how you want it. If, at this point, a demon popped up and asked if you'd like to trade one of your little fingers for that first laugh, you might give the offer a few seconds of thought. Thankfully - especially as my sketch, Explorers, is the opener - the first laugh doesn't take long to arrive. After that, the sketches steam by in a glorious flurry (few of them are both two minutes in length) eliciting much laughter and smiley faces. You can tell that people are enjoying Splendid, and this feels key. Sure, people inevitably don't always laugh when you expect them to, and laugh at somewhat unexpected things, but there's definitely a very good feeling in the room. Despite often being dark and twisted-as-all-hell, Splendid exudes an upbeat warmth which hopefully can't fail to bleed from the screen.

It's only when watching Splendid with others, that it strikes you how very mental it is. In a good way, naturellement. Perhaps the most surreal moment comes while watching another sketch of mine, Pilots. It's truly bizarre to sit in a screening room full of people, watching what these two pilots (superbly acted by Glover and Evans) end up doing. I'm loving the experience, and feeling so very proud of Dan, cast and crew. Really wish Piers was here, though, to see how well his marvellously preposterous Weapon Shop sketch goes down.

9.30pm: Twenty-five minutes later, the pilot ends, to rapturous applause. We all file back out into what you might well call The Drinking Area. Dan has wisely created a pile of feedback forms, which every attendee dutifully, and anonymously, fills out. It asks for things like people's favourite sketch, their least favourite... what kind of comedy they normally enjoy... Stuff like that. While it's brilliant when so many people congratulate us on a funny and great-looking show, you know for sure that they're going to be 100% honest on an anonymous feedback form. Joyously, these forms turn out to be just as enthusiastic as people's reactions were in person. They will definitely help inform us how to hone our pilot and make it even stronger. Obviously, you have be just a little bullish with comedy, and sticking to your guns, but there's harm in being aware of consensus.

From here on, events become understandably blurry. I remember people smiling a lot, being congratulatory, and generally relieved that Splendid didn't turn out to be a bunch of bell-ends in someone's living room with a camcorder. There is talk of quality and professionalism and channels which Splendid would suit.

Midnight (maybe):
Post-MPC, a group of Splendid types and friends wander the streets of Soho for a while, before settling on Brewer Street's lovely Enclave bar. Stephen Evans is delighted to learn that they have cocktails with Doctor Who themed names, although Paradise Towers and Green Death are the only ones I can remember right now. Clearly hyper-conscious that this is a gay-oriented establishment, Richard and Stephen butch it the hell up:


As do Richard and I.


Mmmm, I tell you, you haven't lived until you've experienced the Glover Love. No Glove, no love, that's my new and hastily-assembled motto. Yes.

3am: Things get blurrier still. I'm sitting on a pavement outside the Cro-Bar with Helen Smith, foolishly smoking Cafe Creme cigars and mixing drinks with the kind of fury which I will so regret tomorrow.

The pain will be worth it, though. Tonight was completely and utterly Splendid.

SPLENDID LINKS:

Phill Barron's account of the Splendid screening
, including the words "It’s very, very funny and should be picked up for broadcast immediately".

Helen Smith's account of the Splendid screening, including the words "made to broadcast standard".

Dan Turner's account of the Splendid screening, including the words "Those two boys really do see the benefit of mind-stretching word games".

John 'Caution' Harrison's account of the Splendid screening, including the words "as I walked out at the end I know I had a silly beam on my face".

My March 2009 post about the cast, and Splendid in general.

My December 2008 post about the writing process.

Splendid's Facebook group. Join us!

Scribomeet This Week!

It's been a while since there was a proper get-together of scribblers. Thankfully, the unstoppable Piers Beckley and Sara Baroni have stepped up to the plate and organised one.

Shrieks Piers, dressed as the Devil: "It's in the Knights Templar pub in London on Thursday 16th July from 7pm till closing! In this pub at this time we will be drinking beer, and talking about the UK screenwriting industry!"

Sounds great to me. See you there.

And coming very soon, like some kind of crazy Trident missile: a full and frank report from the London screening of our sketch show Splendid. For attendee Phill Barron's delightful account of the evening, click here, why don'tcha? UPDATE: Splendid co-creator Dan 'Mr Daniel' Turner has just posted a post too!

Splendid: The Production Diary

If a day-by-day account of an eight-day TV-sketch-show shoot interests you, then go now to director Dan Turner's blog, where by coincidence he is writing just that:

Splendid Chaps

Spare a thought, tomorrow, for director Dan Turner and his trusty cast and crew, who will be launching into eight straight days of shooting our ludicrous TV sketch-show Splendid. Yep, even Sunday. This is literal madness. Sixteen sketches in eight days - several of which I'm proud to say are mine. (The sketches, not the days.)

Click here to see Dan's pre-shoot ruminations. And click here to see those of production guru John 'Champagne Caution' Harrison.

Previously on Splendid:

A Splendid Sketch Is Born

Well, shoe me in the nuts, then set me ablaze - it's not every day you get to host, on your own blog, something you've written. But here, for your naked, steaming eyes, is a brand new Splendid sketch, written by me and directed by Dan Turner. Showcasing all six of this up-and-coming affair's gorgeous performers (click here for my recent guide to who they are), I think it's turned out, aptly enough, splendidly. I'm particularly proud of the dialogue. Yes.

Watch it (click here to see it on the actual Funny Or Die site) then cast your online vote: is it Funny, or is it Die?

Then feel free to e-mail it around, embed it into Facebook, have it printed on a commemorative toby jug and/or sent to Mars on a rocket ship of your own design.

Yoga - watch more funny videos

Six Splendid People

I think it might only have struck me, a few minutes ago. Next month, a pilot will be shot for up-and-coming TV sketch-show Splendid. A pilot featuring several of my sketches, as well as delights by Piers Beckley, Dan Turner, Richard Glover and Sarah Morgan. How very fantastic.

Splendid has been instigated by Dan Turner and Richard Glover, and boasts an excellent line-up of comedy performing talent, which you can see down this left-hand-side column of faces and hair. Click the image to see them bigger - for some reason Blogger feels threatened by the notion of publishing them any larger on this page. So in order from the top down, they are:

1) Richard Glover. Actor, comedian, genius, lovely man. Starred in Dan and I's Look At Me short, and regularly knocks witticisms around with Danny Wallace on the radio.

2) Ty Glaser. Wow, look at this lady. Frankly, if she's in a sketch, you won't care two hoots whether it's funny or not. Ty's been in The IT Crowd, Emmerdale, Bones and Hotel Babylon.

3) Steve Evans. Another fine TV talent, seen in the likes of Hyperdrive, Nighty Night, Holby City, My Family and The Green Green Grass.

4) Hayley-Jayne Standing. Heartbeat, The Bill, Doctors, Dalziel & Pascoe. Top notch.

5) Eric Lampaert. I've never met this man, but by God he looks suitably ludicrous for this show. A stand-up comic, who has left scores of burning comedy clubs in his wake.

6) Rea Donovan. This naturally ticklesome delight of a lady rounds out the cast with aplomb. She has appeared in TV's Mutual Friends and Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights, radio's Hero Jones, as well as various theatre work. Hooray!

It really is thrilling to work on a project like this, knowing that its realisation - and the laugh quota - will be in such safe hands, on both sides of the camera.

You know one of the many things I love about Splendid? In a sea of sketch shows dealing primarily in topicality and satire, it strives to be utterly pointless and irrelevant. In our script meetings, perfectly good sketches would be hurled out of windows at great force, for daring to be about something. That really is Splendid.

Dan's company, Magician Pictures, has already surpassed itself in hunting down locations. While writing pilot submissions, I kidded myself that I was being quite budget-conscious, and not setting sketches on, say, an alien planet. Nevertheless, I wrote one set in a plane's cockpit, and another in a tropical jungle. Remarkably, Dan and co have sourced both. Kudos upon kudos there.

It's fundamentally all very exciting stuff: keep an eye on Dan's own blog and the Splendid blog for inevitable updates on production, if indeed he has time amid all the heroic hard work. You can also follow Mr Splendid, our iconic little fellow, on Twitter: @Mr_Splendid. I'm on there too, as @JasonArnopp, while Dan is @daniel_turner and Piers is @piersb.

In other comedy news, I recently attended a writers' meeting for another Radio 4 sketch show, having been recommended by the good people of Recorded For Training Purposes, so that's an exciting prospect. More as it solidifies. Am also progressing to script on the online drama Tempting Fates, while finding time to bring my own spec-scripts along. Yes, things are good right now.

Have the kind of weekend which makes others bend double and swallow their own feet with envy.

Today, I'm In Washington DC


Or at least my name will be, on a big screen, alongside Dan Turner's. Look At Me, the short film we birthed together in 2008, will play the Washington DC Independent Film Festival on this very day. It's being screened in a package of shorts which kicks off at 9.15pm, EST. Happily, I know we're in good company, because I've seen one of the other films, Richard Gale's The Horribly Slow Murderer With The Extremely Inefficient Weapon, which is funny as a barrel of fucks. Exciting!

If you've seen Look At Me, then you can help us by rating it on the festival site here. If you haven't seen Look At Me, you can stream it on Lord Daniel's site here. So there's really no excuse.

Still twiddling thumbs after that? Here are two other free ways to help people (okay, so one of them is still benefiting me, but altruism's overrated):

Cock & Balls, the not-safe-for-work song which I told you about a while back, has been viewed well over 7000 times in the last couple of weeks on the site Funny Or Die. If you haven't already, take a look at Richard Glover (also the star of Look At Me, fact-fans) crooning about his crown jewels. Added incentive: 50 per cent of viewers have so far voted 'Funny', while the others have voted 'Die'. So you can tip the scales! Make a difference! Influence the world by tapping on plastic keys! Incredible, isn't it? Go!

Tim Clague's neat film God Versus The Advertising Standards Authority has been grabbed by the Babelgum Festival, which is splendid. If you go here, you can watch the film, and I'll let Tim explain the rest: "In full screen mode, select the green 'Vote' button (on the top of the screen, next to the film title) to vote for my entry – or simply wait for the 'Vote Now' window to appear at the bottom of the screen. You can only vote when the video is playing in full screen and only once per day." Thanks, Tim! And thanks in advance to all who help. Jesus Christ, every man-jack of you delights me.

Cock & Balls

What you must do now, my cheeky little delights, is head to the Funny Or Die link below and proclaim how funny you find Cock & Balls, which is rapidly becoming the signature tune for the up-and-coming sketch show Splendid, for which I pen amusement. If it's found funny enough, we win a speedboat, or something.

Witness Cock & Balls here. As its title suggests, it ain't safe for work.