I just received an e-mail from a Dr John Plainville, approaching me with a remarkable business opportunity. He needs to transfer 10 million dollars into my account.
"I will not fail to inform you," the good doctor tells me, "that this transaction is 100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 40% of the total sum as gratification, while 60% will be for me."
Four million dollars! That's incredible. So I wrote back to Dr Plainville (whose e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org, in case any spammers need a new address to send stuff to) thusly:
Thank you so much for coming to me with this opportunity!
I'd be delighted to take part - who could refuse four million dollars, after all? Where do we start? What do we do next?
Oh no, hold on, wait a minute. I've changed my mind. I'm funny like that. So go fuck yourself, you utter cunt.
Yes, I know, it's childish, and replying to spammers begets more spam. But it made me laugh. Laughter's good, no?