Bizarre Characters

Two of them, to be precise. Real-life people I've seen with my own eyes, over the last 24 hours. Don't get too excited: they weren't dressed as elephants and juggling goose-heads, but they did exhibit distinctly strange behaviour. And they reminded me how we need to keep the Script Reader continually thinking, "Why?". (Obviously, that's "Why?" in a good way, as opposed to, "Why did they bother?"). Anyway, here are the characters, as advertised...

(1) A gentleman in a suit and tie, holding a briefcase, crossing Charing Cross Road, early evening. All perfectly normal, you'd think, except he had a copper pyramid on his head. It was like a wire frame, as opposed to a solid shape. Four slanting sides to it, if I remember rightly. Just perched on his head, tight on his short hair. Simple as that. Why, why, why? I watched him head into a book shop (with a porn section in the basement, incidentally), and seriously considered following him inside, to ask about the pyramid. But he might have beaten me to death with the briefcase.

(2) Bespectacled, shorts-wearing fellow ahead of me in the queue at a Post Office Collection Branch, this morning. He was on a mobile phone, talking to a lady named Kara. He said, "I don't understand what you mean Kara". Twice. Then he told her how many people were ahead of him in the queue: four. Explained that there was no payment involved - these people were just going to hand over cards and collect their packages. Then - and here becomes the bafflement - he said: "There are four people waiting. Two ladies and two men." Now why, in the name of Hades' fifth sun, did Kara want to know the gender ratio of people in a queue to collect packages from a PO counter?

Answers on a postcard, disguised as the Comments section. Whoever furnishes the finest suggestions will win my undying admiration, and possibly prevent the odd sleepless night.

14 comments:

Lucy said...

Can't help you with the PO my friend, but the man with the pyramid on his head is a screenwriter. It is a homemade invention to stop THEM from stealing your ideas. A saucepan works just as well though, I have one on my head right now.

Elver said...

This is easy :)

1. The dude was wearing a copper pyramid on his head, because he believes in the healing power of the magic pyramid shape.

It's been claimed that apples put under a pyramid like that will not rot, razor blades stored there will not dull, and wearing a pyramid like that on one's head will grant peace of mind and clarity or whatnot.

I'm a co-founder of the Estonian Skeptics Society and this delusion is unfortunately pretty common. Wikipedia article on this.

2. Lovers chit-chat. Have you ever been in love so much that all you wanna do is hear your loved one's voice, not really caring what she's saying?

Since the guy doesn't seem to have been so lovey-dovey, then I guess it was one-sided love.

Jason Arnopp said...

Lucy: This is where I've been going wrong, using a collander.

Thanks, Elver: did you find this article by entering the search term 'copper pyramid'? :)

Elver said...

Nope. I've known about this for years. This stuff keeps coming up on the JREF weekly commentaries. And there was recently a Mythbusters episode where they tackled pyramid myths.

Jason Arnopp said...

Sorry Elver, when I said "this article" I should've said "this blog post". :) Interesting, though, this pyramid baloney. I wonder how long my businessman guy wears it for each day, and whether it freaks people out in meetings...

Elver said...

Ah, no. I'm subscribed to your blog via Google Reader -- I'm very much interested in writing for film :)

I don't think he freaks out other businessmen. Being open to bullsh*t is a job requirement for those guys.

Jon Peacey said...

Fergie used to do the whole sitting in a giant pyramid thing. Back when it was fashionable.

Did lurking in a pyramid make the Mummy's claws sharper?

Bizarre people on buses are why I finally learnt to drive; my being on the roads is why people take buses.

Pillock said...

I think the man is advertising for the Egyptian tourist board.

The other one was only pretending to be on the phone, having a fake conversation to avoid talking to any shady characters lurking in the queue.

Dan Turner said...

A young couple emerged from luton train station a few months back.
as they walked onto the pavement the guy turend to teh girl and said "I didn't ask your shoes if you fucking still loved me"

We live for that shit don't we?

martin said...

People are fucking strange. That's all the explanation that you really need.

Rob Stickler said...

Are copper pyramids back in this season?

I'll have to ditch my golden rhombicuboctahedron.

It'll probably come round again though, like flares.

R.

The Moviequill said...

A) You had a brush with Frank Isoceles, the world renowned triangle player in the London Philharmonic Orchestra, as he went for his daily walk around the quadrangle

b)Everybody knows women take 8.7 percent longer at order counters and pick up desks so she was calculating how long it would be until she had to put the tea on for his return.

Anonymous said...

Saw the "copper pyramid on head" bloke on the tube last week. If this guy's a screenwriter, what the f**k does he write?!@!?

He had a definitely ecclesiastical vibe going on, and a medallion that appeared to show hands clasping. Any further information would be most welcome/worrying.

LeakyFeet said...

I saw this bloke just last Saturday at Baker St, getting on a southbound Jubilee line train.

You can see him here too.

This could be a meme in the making.