You're All Going To Die, Done And Dusted. Possibly.

My short horror-comedy script You're All Going To Die has taken longer to complete than I anticipated. Many drafts, many changes. God only knows how I made the finals of 2004's British Short Screenplay Competition with a script which had barely seen a few revisions. Must've been a really slow year for them...

This was my first experience with the Power Of Three system, and it really works. Every single one of my nine readers delivered very helpful notes, which helped reshape the screenplay. I discovered that if one person makes a criticism, you consider it; but if several people concur, then it really needs to be changed. For instance, today I made a drastic final edit to the script, chopping it down from 15 minutes to 10, as a fair few readers said it either took too long to get going, or was just plain over-long. It's much, much better with a third (aptly) slashed out of it. Hopefully it's now finished. I'll naturally wait until early next week before sending it off to the competition, though.

So let's hear it for my Power Of Three folk, as follows...

ROUND ONE: Potdoll, Good Dog, Pillock.
ROUND TWO: Oliver Jeffery, David Bishop, Anne-Marie (who doesn't have a blog, but really should).
ROUND THREE: Laura Anne Anderson, Stuart Perry, Piers Beckley.

14 comments:

Lucy V said...

Tell me. Why was I not in any of these rounds? Hmmm? HMMMMMMMMM???

Jason Arnopp said...

Because, madam, I'm saving you for my next 60-minute-odd script. If I'm going to get a free read out of you, might as well squeeze the lemon dry! :-D

x

DAVID BISHOP said...

So, did you cut the first two pages?

Jason Arnopp said...

I certainly did, sir! Compressed a lot of the rest, as well, to make it 10 pages. And Marlon's now the presenter of a makeover show. More of a Gok Wan than a Louis Theroux...

Lucy V said...

You cheeky little gimp! Gotta hand it to you tho, good thinking...

potdoll said...

hope it's as tight as a duck's arse!

martin said...

So true about feedback. I got excellent reports fom Lianne and Lucy for my 2 BSSC Entries, and they've improved immeasurably (I hope) since I started rewriting them based on thier insights.

...still rewriting them tho, with less than a week to go, which is why I'm up at half 6 on a Saturday!

Jason Arnopp said...

Martin: Deadlines are great though, aren't they? Nothing like 'em to get the blood simmering and the brain pulsating. I reckon they put years on your life.

Incidentally, why ARE you blogless? The Blogosphere needs you, sir!

Andy Phillips said...

Your bell-ring was inspired. Hope you kept that.

Jason Arnopp said...

Mr P, very nice of you to say so. And yes, it's definitely still there! :) Hope you haven't shelved the VGT script I read.

Andy Phillips said...

No, but still not thought of that little twist it needs yet. Maybe I'll put in a bell-ring.

Jason Arnopp said...

Brilliant idea, Mr P! That'll get the audience talking afterwards. "What the hell was that bell-ring all about?". "I reckon it had Buddhist significance..."

missread said...

Glad to hear the bell is still in there. I've never shouted at my PC screen like that when reading a script before, so it had to stay :)

martin said...

I don't know about great, but do they focus the mind.

I promised Lianne, Stuart, Dan and Potdoll I'd start a blog after the SWF, when they were BULLYING me about it at Meet the agents, but
with the BSSC, then the Bridport Prize Deadline, then the SWF the world'll just have to wait for another blog from an aspiring screenwriter ;)

Christ that's a long sentence!