PC World Of Pain

"Is this the one who brought his PC in, in November?"
"Yep. I asked him on the phone why he'd taken three weeks to get back in touch with us."
"Sigh. Let's have a look at the service docket, then..."

The fine gentlemen of The Tech Guys at Tottenham Court Road's PC World store, were labouring under a bizarre delusion. They clearly believed that the perspex screen which separated them from me – standing mere metres away at the Tech Guys' counter – was soundproof. More than once, I considered calling out, "I'm right here, you hilariously rude cocks". But given that they were deciding whether I could have a brand new PC in exchange for the knackered one I bought in November, this seemed ill-advised.

The Tech Guys' support system is laughable. In my experience, only one in approximately 4,026 attempts to call them directly in-store will be successful. Call their alleged Customer Services 'hot'line, and you'll be put on hold, then told that they've attempted to call the Tech Guys in-store without success. So basically, they're just calling the same unanswered phone as you tried to, without any kind of special powers. Not even an e-mail address, according to the apathetic Customer Services fella I spoke to. Ludicrous.

Anyway, it has all ended in joy. I have a brand new PC with which to face 2008. It has a ludicrous Terabyte of memory, divided into two 500GB drives. It also throws in a 300GB media drive, which caused me much excitement last night. The PC's tower has a neat slot for this very drive, and all you have to do is satisfyingly slide it inside, with no need for adapters or wires. As I pushed this beauty in, right up to the hilt, it was positively wonderful to see it light up and begin to whirr. Which kinda spoils the whole sexual suggestiveness, unless of course I was boning an android.

Right, then. Time to start filling this baby up with words.

10 comments:

James Moran said...

Jesus. Don't go anywhere near PC World or the Thick Guys. They'll do a virus scan, defrag, spyware scan, delete your temporary files, and that'll be the extent of their stupidly overpriced service. Oh, they might switch it off and on again, if you pay an extra fiver.

Now put your trousers back on, you filthy beast...

Phill Barron said...

A terabyte?

Fucking hell!

And you're going to fill it?

That's a lot of porn.

Jason Arnopp said...

James: If you're saying you prefer my trousers on, then you're fooling no-one my friend. No-one!

Phill: Ah, yes. Did I say 'words'? I meant to say 'jazz films'.

Phill Barron said...

Ah, the terrible truth is out ... I don't read the first or last words of any sentence.

I take it you're going to use very BIG words?

Jason Arnopp said...

There will definitely be very big things involved, yes.

Piers said...

No floppy drives in this baby, I trust.

potdoll said...

I thought you used a laptop?

Jason Arnopp said...

Potters: Hello! Well, I avoided telling the whole story, so that readers wouldn't fall asleep. But I bought a new PC in November, then it messed up and I took it back to the store (eventually). Then I got my exchange PC (eventually). And my old laptop is hovering between life and death. Sometimes responsive, sometimes not...

Anonymous said...

buy a mac

Jason Arnopp said...

Cheers, Anonymous. Can always count on you!