Yesterday, in the gym changing room, I heard a song. Thankfully, it wasn't just inside my head - it was coming to me courtesy of the changing room's speakers. I thought it sounded rather good - catchy, worryingly easy to identify with, etc - but couldn't place it. Then I realised, as the chorus kicked in, that it was Don't Speak, by No Doubt. Their 1996 hit, and arguably their biggest. Their 1996 hit, which I thoroughly obliterated with a written review in Kerrang! magazine, that very same year. To his eternal credit, No Doubt guitarist Tony Kamal (second from right in pic) found this vicious assessment so amusing, he had it printed up on T-shirts for the band. Which showed a good attitude, I thought.
So there I was, 12 years later, standing there, thinking that Don't Speak sounded good. Shocking. God knows why - maybe back then I was all, "If it doesn't rock, it must be tied up in barbed wire and incinerated. With words". But next time someone flat-out rejects a script of yours, just picture them a dozen years down the line, checking out your film on Triple Plasma Micro-Density DVD, loving it, then being so disgusted with themselves, that they literally have no option but to boil their head in glue.
Were you clothed or unclothed, had you paused to tie a shoelace, what? I can't picture the scene unless you write it.
ReplyDeleteI still don't like that song, by the way.
Why don't I tell you 'bout it, over a bottle of wine, toots?
ReplyDeleteI guess the crucial question is, has your opinion of "Nothing Else Matters" mellowed any?
ReplyDeleteDON'T SPEAK was actually recorded and engineered to have special messages that will sneak into your soul and enslave you forever into No Doubts Skank-rock fan club forever. I see it's got to you at last! FOR SHAME.
ReplyDeletePS. Been meaning to say - I had a dream the other week Helen and Jason had it off at the SWF next year. Psychic?
ReplyDeleteGwen: No, Nothing Else Matters is still boring.
ReplyDeleteLucy: Well, don't get me wrong - it's not like I came home and bought it off iTunes. I mean, I'm not mental.
Luce - were Helen and I clothed or unclothed? I can't picture the scene unless you describe it in graphic detail.
ReplyDeleteBlind hate was/is a natural reaction to risable cod-ska-punk. She looked a bit saucy in the "Don't Speak" video though, so I let it pass.
ReplyDeleteI liked "Just a Girl" though.
Ha! You're getting old - you like songs the younger you would beat up the now you for liking.
ReplyDeleteThat sentence doesn't make a lot of sense. I'll try again.
Ha! You're getting old - you now like songs which once you would have beaten yourself up for liking had you in some way been able to--
Ha! You're getting old - you like slower songs which the you then would have beaten up the you of today (which used to be the you of tomorrow) just for--
I was unclothed when I read this post, if that helps?
Oh and the verification word is 'foratio' which I find funny.
Sorry, I had nothing to say and desperately wanted in on the conversation.
ReplyDelete'ressight' this time.
I remember that review. Heh.
ReplyDeleteIsn't the song about the guitarist's relationship with Gwen, and how it all went south? I like the song for that reason, and the video, but I remember people railing against its wild popularity at the time...
ReplyDelete***Gwen: No, Nothing Else Matters is still boring.
ReplyDeleteYou have mellowed slightly, then. You expressed actual hatred of it at the time.
(I never liked it either, just for the record, though I will admit to finding the Apocalyptica cover sort of pretty.)
Any chance of seeing that Don't Speak review? (I know the point of this is your being man enough to admit to a change of heart, but c'mon, let's ’ave the original!) :-D
Why are people making comments, without stating their clothed/unclothed status? This must stop.
ReplyDeleteGwen: all I remember is the closing line: "Much like an anteater with a punctured snout, it sucks badly". And frankly, I'm not even sure if that makes sense. Would an anteater with more than one hole in its snout actually be able to hoover up more ants? I welcome debate.
Depends where the hole is: if it's on the end, then it's probably a good thing; if it's on the side, probably not.
ReplyDeleteUnless it had seven or eight holes then you could play it like a recorder.
Has anyone got an anteater we can experiment on?
wartherp - clothed, but not for much longer
You could puncture holes in various places, and plug up any that don't work with your glue gun. Obviously this would be horribly inhumane, unless it's possible for anteaters to get ripped to the tits on sniffing molten glue and thus not feel a thing. But you could win some sort of research prize and be hailed as a crazed genius, if that hasn't already happened to you.
ReplyDeleteBaron Barron: And if you played that anteater, I'll wager that Ant Music would result.
ReplyDeleteGwen: I refuse to respond to your point, as you gave no indication of what you were(n't) wearing. Good day. (Ooh, I'd forgotten about the glue gun).
Black trousers and a black T-shirt, Sir. Bet you're shocked, astounded and stupefied by that revelation.
ReplyDelete"a written review in Kerrang! magazine"
ReplyDeleteFinally, I know where I know your name from. ... It's been driving my mildly insane for some time now - that nagging, I know I should know you, have we met? type thing.
I can stop having the nightmares now. Phew! :)
"a written review in Kerrang! magazine"
ReplyDeleteFinally, I know where I know your name from. ... It's been driving my mildly insane for some time now - that nagging, I know I should know you, have we met? type thing.
I can stop having the nightmares now. Phew! :)
Do anteaters even suck up ants? I always thought they had long tounges, but I could be (and probably am) wrong.
ReplyDeleteQuite liked the song at the time. Quite like it now.
And personally, I always strip off before I leave a blog comment!
He's right you know, all this anteater talk was for nothing.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Martin, do you strip off for your entire blog browsing session or redress between comments?
Unclothed, as usual.
No, I tend to strip for every comment, Phil, which is frankly a bit of a pain.
ReplyDeleteJason - All this talk of nudity should increse your hit rate - espcially if someone googles Naked blogging screenwriters. I'm sure there are stranger fetishes! Tho probably not many.
No.
ReplyDeleteAfter meeting Jason, you never stop having the nightmares.
Oh my God! I have googled 'naked blogging screenwriters' every day for 3 years, 6 months, 1 day and 4 hours and this is the very first hit. I am so excited! Literally!
ReplyDeleteSome pictures would be a dream come true though. Lots of pictures as soon as you can please. Holding pens. In your hands or wherever. My preference is wherever.
And as for my own clothing indication, ironically I am fully clothed but only because I am in an internet cafe. On second thoughts, who cares what people think, I'm going to strip anyway!
Glad I never had to write scathing reviews; on the film review Tv shows I worked on we were so desperate to get junkets/line ups at Leicester Square etc we'd try to find the good in anything (eg 'Lady In The Water' won't be for everyone, but fans of Paul Giamatti should love it!).
ReplyDeleteIf I had been a spleen-venting position, I think my biggest 180 would have been 'The Big Lebowski'. Found it slow, unfunny and self indulgent on first viewing but now I love it.
Maybe one day there'll be room in my heart for 'No Country For Old Men' ('a funny haircut and an air pump do not a character make!)